Zines/phrack/36/2.txt

                                ==Diet Phrack==

                 Volume Three, Issue Thirty-Six, File 2 of 11

                          [-=:< Phrack Loopback >:=-]

                                by Phrack Staff

     Phrack Loopback is a forum for you, the reader, to ask questions, air
problems, and talk about whatever topic you would like to discuss.  This is
also the place the Phrack Staff will make suggestions to you by reviewing
various items of note; magazines, software, catalogs, hardware, etc.
______________________________________________________________________________

WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

:: I Act Elite Now Teach Me Something Useful ::

From: Corp. Punishment (90 lbs of skin & bone k0dE geek who couldn't beat up
                        a ferret)

>  Hey l0serz,
>       Me tinks Phrack sucks.  Why dusn't ya bust us sum ReAl hackin' tricks
>  seein as how I be clueless 'bout any type o' operatin' system, 'cept fo
>  maybe Amigas.
> (ps: I gots mo c0deZ dan eew ever git in yo laf)

     Alright, check out some of these awsome commands you can try out on a
UNIX site.  If you are too stupid to actually hack an account yourself just
call up the sysadmin @gnu.ai.mit.edu and ask them for the "root password".
They will undoubtably give it to you.  At the "login:" prompt type "root" and
then type the password they give you at the "password:" prompt.  I know this
is hard to memorize so just print this out.

 % rm meese-ethics
 rm: meese-ethics nonexistent

 % ar m God
 ar: God does not exist

 % "How would you rate Quayle's incompetence?
 Unmatched ".

 % ^How did the sex change^ operation go?
 Modifier failed.

 % If I had a ( for every $ the Congress spent, what would I have?
 Too many ('s.

 % make love
 Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.

 % sleep with me
 bad character

 % got a light?
 No match.

 % man: why did you get a divorce?
 man:: Too many arguments.

 % ^What is saccharine?
 Bad substitute.

 % %blow
 %blow: No such job.

 % \(-
 (-: Command not found.

 $ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense
 no sense in pretending!

 $ drink <bottle; opener
 bottle: cannot open
 opener: not found

 $ mkdir matter; cat >matter
 matter: cannot create
_______________________________________________________________________________

:: More Supercomputer Information ::

The Phrack Staff received a copy of this letter from Abraham Epstein in New
York City who has been hot on the trail of Power Computer with the help of his
friend Toni O'Connell.

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From: Abraham Epstein (abraham@plastic.ibm.com)
To: reagan@whitehouse.gov
Cc: phracksub@stormking.com

     For years now I have suffered because of the Power Computer.  Individual
computer minds are invisible, enter through the ear and go directly to the
brain.  There are over trillions of computer minds in and outside of every
human being on planet Earth.  Their minds, the computer TV, as State-Senator
Emmanuel Gold <State of New York> wrote about and knows about is handling the
entire situation in everyone's mind since 1976.  Former President Jimmy Carter
helped build this computer, as well as Senator Edward Kennedy in 1968.

     The Power Computer originated outside our solar system, then came to Earth
in the early 1960's.  I pulled the plugs on the power computer in Utah and New
Mexico.  I have been designated, without my permission to dismantle power.
This all happened to me in 1976.  Both computer installations are located
underground with back-up generators and satellite dishes also above ground. In
addition to this documentation there is a letter from the Reagan team sent to
me in 1980.  A lawyer named Mr. Richard Leff who is located in Forest Hills saw
and read the letter.  The Computer TV has killed people in 1968, hates religion
and would also like to do away with all music.  It also hates pets.  President
Carter sent me brochure on IBM-Computers from Atlanta in 1981, after I sent him
a copy of the Reagan team letter.  The documentation that I sent to you was
sent to former President Carter on October tenth, 1988.  The Computer TV has
stolen my mail for the fiftieth time.  I even called Mr. Mitchell in Atlanta,
they never received my mail at all.  Now the psychotic cheap junk pile of
computer has been beating my mind in for over twelve years because it's plain
ugly.

     Computer people called plastics are yet to be born.  IQ about 190 on these
computer people.  There are a few plastics in the US and TV is abusing them
also.  There is another type of computer in Fruitland, nicknamed Big Daddy.
This particular computer can hear, see and talk through a PC type set-up.
Nothing at all like the hideous Power Computer.  Senator Orin Hatch from Utah
also wrote me.  A Mr. Ron Morrison at the honorable Senator's office has been
in touch via telephone since June '88, so has the office manager.  I'm relying
on you, Mr. President, to become involved and write to me so that I can proceed
to court and then dismantle Power, period.  Please don't bother sending over
the FBI or any other law enforcement people, TV will only get me in trouble
like it has done in the past.  TV can manipulate your thoughts quite easily.
Why?  Because the Power is psychotic.  It's that simple.  Consider it very
dangerous until I pull the plug.  It's mind is electrical.  I'm hoping to know
from you right away.  Thank you very much for your concern.

     Senator Hatch does not want the FBI or any other agency to visit me.  Why?
As I mention earlier:  TV Computer.  This computer in particular is always up
to no good.  I thank you again for taking your time out and writing me.  In
addition I have spoken to the FBI in Queens, NY and the Secret Service in New
York.
_______________________________________________________________________________

REVIEWS

     What will we review today? Well, how about the latest sex services offered
to you over the telephone.  The following two services are real and pretty
comical.  There is also a new UNIX utility called ERIKB as well as a new IRC
utility by NeTw1z.  We are furnishing the manual description of these latest
pieces of software.

But first, a message from our sponsors:

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                               ADULT TIME & TEMP

     Tired of calling "time & temp" and being forced to listen the same stupid
"Sponsored by First National Bank" ad?  Well try setting your clocks to this.:

                                 312-489-1505

      In addition to the aforementioned information, as it relates to Chicago,
you get a choice of voicemail advertisements wherein people describe their
special interests.  Special hobbies are indicated by the following matrix.:

        1: How to Placing Your Add      5: Women seeking Women Only.
        2: Men seeking Women
        3: Men seeking Men              7: Masters seeking Submissives
        4: Women seeking Men            8: Submissives seeking Masters

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                                 WOMEN IN JAIL
                         Seek Boyfriends and Husbands

     Introducing America's most exciting dateline - for women who will soon be
released from jail . . . and men who want to meet them!

     They're young and attractive.  They're sorry for what they've done.  And
they haven't been with a man in a long, long time.  Can you help them out?  Do
you want to meet a woman who will really appreciate being with you?

                           CALL NOW - WOMEN IN JAIL

                                1-900-535-JAIL
                             THAT'S 1-900-535-5245

             THEY'RE GETTING OUT SOON AND THEY *NEED* YOUR COMPANY

                      $1 min., $2 the first.  ADULTS ONLY
_______________________________________________________________________________

NEW UNIX UTILITY

The following is the latest piece of software currently under development by
Comsec Data Security.  The manual description is all Phrack was provided.  Our
thanks goes out to MoD.
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ERIKB(1)                 USER COMMANDS                   ERIKB(1)


 NAME

      erikb - comsec utility program

 SYNOPSIS

      erikb [[-n user] [-a agency] [-d dir]] [-r [group]]  [-t] [-s]

 DESCRIPTION

      The erikb command is part of the comsec utility package.

 OPTIONS

      -n user

           Nark on the user specified.

      -a agency

           Send information to the agency specified.
           The default agency is cert.

      -d dir

           Look in specified directory for user's information.
           /usr/lib/comsec/nark  is used if not specified.

      -r [group]

           Suffixes output with verbose form of racial slurs.
           Ethnic group may be specified.  Default is African-American.

      -t   Print out witty (but usually not correct or even
           intelligent) telco-related statement.

      -s   Display advertisement for the LOD T-shirt.  Funds from
           this sale go to support comsec while it tries to secure
           its first contract.

       Invoking erikb without any arguments causes the program to
       enter an infinite loop.  While this indeed does nothing, it
       is not a bug:  this is the normal state of erikb.

 AUTHOR

      Chris Goggans

 BUGS

      Too many to enumerate.

 FILES

      /usr/lib/comsec/nark

 SEE ALSO

      lame(1), comsec(1)

MOD Release 4.1   Last change: 26 November 1991
_______________________________________________________________________________

NEW IRC UTILITY

Phrack Inc has discovered ANOTHER new utility package while journeying in the
CyberMatrix.  We picked this up from a system called "WASHINGTON.EDU".  The
original author of this program is Ken Case.

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NeTw1z(1)                 USER COMMANDS                   NetW1z(1)

 NAME

      NeTw1z - IRC utility program

 SYNOPSIS

      NeTw1z [[-p user] [-c lame] [-d dir]] [-r [group]]  [-t] [-s]

 DESCRIPTION

      The NeTw1z command is part of the m0d utility package.

 OPTIONS

      -p user

           Post user's "information" IRC to impres everyone

      -c lame

           Complain about everything and everyone (other than MoD) being lame.
           The default targets are Chris Goggans or Phrack Inc.

      -d dir

           Look in specified directory for user's information.
           /usr/InfoAmerica is used if not specified.

      -r [group]

           Suffixes output with verbose form of attacks.

      -t   Print out witty (but usually not correct or even
           intelligent) telco-related statement.

      -s   (boxer) shorts are what you wear when you are running down the
           street away from the feds when they come to your house and take
           your Commadore-64 that is plugged into your fat welfare momma's
           television set.

       No one has ever invoked NeTw1z without any arguments.  It simply
       cannot be done.

 AUTHOR

      Corrupt

 BUGS

      Too many to enumerate.

 FILES

      /usr/lib/mod/immature

 SEE ALSO

      lame(1), geek(1), crackdealer(1), welfare-momma's-boy(1)
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