Trying to use the opaque pointer in the handle to point to the conn isn't
going to work when we need it to point to the ss handle.
Move it to have its on place in the handle.
If the DNS lookup fails, we just sit out the remaining connect time.
The adapts it to reuse the wsi->sul_connect_timeout to schedule DNS lookup
retries until we're out of time.
Eventually we want to try other things as well, this is aligned with that.
Found with fault injection.
